On Soldiering

Dave Finkel's Narrative

2009-10-29T13:11:00.000-07:00

http://www.amazon.com/gp/mpd/permalink/m13BGUUNKX5NKP

This could have been any given day last time I was here. I walked and drove that stretch of ground countless times in '07...I've got no other comments for now, lots of things rattling around my brain, lots of future posts when I get the time.

Thanks for coming across the video Dad...that right there's what it was.

Who-Dey!

2009-10-25T22:04:00.000-07:00

Scott, much love brother, but I hope you keep predicting Bengals losses. I actually got to see some of this game, morale's high!

Boom....boom

2009-10-19T12:52:00.001-07:00

Our boys are shooting the big guns right now, outgoing illumination mission from a triple-7 155mm howitzer. I thought the first one was an IED...I freaking hate explosions anymore, I don't care who's pulling the cord.

Groundhog Day

2009-10-18T13:28:00.000-07:00

Whew. I'm here (but honestly have been for awhile). Groundhog Day has commenced-working behind the computer right now 15-ish hours a day getting the BN functional. The days are flying by (good), but each has been the same as the one before it for a couple weeks (bad). That's all I've got for now...bedtime.

Unsettled

2009-10-07T12:10:00.000-07:00

Moving around lots these days, somewhat hectic, but not of the getting-shot-at variety. Just not settled yet. More stories and pictures to follow once I get where I'll be setting my hooch at for awhile. More to Follow...

Murals

2009-10-01T05:13:00.000-07:00

I think this is pretty cool. All over the place here we have these big blast barriers, T-Walls we call them. As units come through, some have taken it on themselves to find an artist in the ranks and paint murals on these walls, turning drab concrete into an art festival in the middle of the desert. You might not think it but there are some super talented Soldier-artists out there.

I start things off with the first one on top (right) because its the patch my Grandfather wore in the South Pacific in WWII. They're a National Guard BDE now-pretty sweet to stumble across this on an errand the other day.

This really needs no explanation. Marrying a Kentuckian means I claim dual citizenship these days...can't bring myself to root for a Wildcat football team though (except when one big ol' boy puts his helmet right through Tebow's chest!) Go Buckeyes!

This one is amazing. Hope it looks as good on here as it does in person. Whoever did this could probably reconsider their day job.

This unit is my Sister-in-Law's MP Company out of Louisville! I did a hard double take as I was walking past this one, then made a special trip to get my camera.

The rest of these are walls that I thought were cool. Apologize now for the ribald humor...I guess that's what being out in the desert for months on end will do to you.

It's all good....

2009-09-20T00:36:00.000-07:00

Irony intended, for those of you who've read the book. Kuwait is hot, dusty, windy, and for today at least, humid. Training is going well, the gym is decent enough (when its not packed full) and the chow is edible. Believe it or not these things will all get even better when we go forward from here....I'm about to go call home, can't wait. Hearing Her voice buoys my morale for days.

The Good Soldiers

2009-09-15T08:15:00.000-07:00

Some of you may have heard me talk or write about David Finkel, the Washington Post reporter who embedded himself with my last battalion during my last Iraq tour. Today the book that is the fulfillment of David's time with us will be published.

...and here's the book's Washington Post page.

I have not read David's work yet: my wonderful wife encouraged me to wait until getting back home from this tour to Iraq. I'll re-experience it all again as you experience our tour for the first time, if you choose to read it. What I know at this point is that it will give you a very intimate look into what a combat tour during The Surge looked like...understand the graphic nature and raw intensity of this book as you're picking it up. If you'd care to post your reactions as you're reading, this would be a good place for it.

3,2,1 Stop

2009-09-15T05:58:00.000-07:00

Glad we made it all the way across the country before the plane decided to break. Still hanging out in the States waiting for this thing to get fixed. Not too heartbroken, quite frankly...the heat and sand will still be there.

Somebody's an Idiot

2009-09-13T11:19:00.000-07:00

Timeline:

Two weeks ago: Phone call from senior NCO in the Battalion informs me I fly on a Sunday in two weeks. I tell Rae, everyone’s ready.

Last Wed: Email in my inbox informs me I’ve been bumped left one day, to that Saturday. One day less with Rae, no one’s happy.

Yesterday: Rae, Outlaw, my bags, and I show up at noon ready to fly. Drawing weapons (a process that should take an hour, at most) takes four hours. We find out our flight’s been bumped. We’re told to come back at 10 p.m. No one’s happy.

Yesterday: Come back at 10 p.m. Told to come back at 4 a.m.

This morning: Show up at 4 a.m. Emotions run high, tearful goodbye’s are said, load busses, drive to the personnel terminal. Arrive at PAX terminal at 6:30. Find out flight is not till 10:30. Hang out, drink coffee, start composing this blog post. Halfway into composing this post find out that my flight is cancelled. Call Rae and ask her to come back to post and pick me up. Get back on busses and drive back to post.

Now: Waiting. Will show up at 4:30 tomorrow morning to try this all over again.

Hilarious quotes from the past 36 hours:

Rae: “Somebody’s an idiot.”

and…

My Mother in Law (who I’ve never heard swear, ever): “this shit can wear you down!”

3,2,1...

2009-09-12T10:54:00.000-07:00

...and I'm off. Next post will be from the Middle East. Looking forward to keeping everybody updated. Back to the land of the heat and sand!

Nate

Day in the Life!

2009-08-31T21:49:00.001-07:00

Day in the life of Nate time! Definitely more boring than you think, today was a pretty uneventful day-but good! Actually felt like I got something done; last week was frustrating for a number of reasons, suffice it to say I'm glad to kick this week off productively. Drum-roll please.......

I'm up! Alarm was actually set for 0430, but I was restless last night. This is the reflective picture you get this early in the morning.

I'm pretty sure the person that invented the self-brewing coffee maker is one of the most ingenious people to walk the earth. You set this baby up the night before with grounds and water, and lo and behold when I roll out of bed at 0-dark-30, there is beautiful fragrant fresh coffee awaiting me. "dum dee dum dee dum...the best part of waking up blah blah blah...."

Jim Totten regales me me over coffee with stories from his weekend in Vegas before PT. What happened in Vegas should have stayed in Vegas, Jim.

PT time-best part of the day. Today's Workout of the Day:

1 x 30 foot rope climb

20 x Dips

20 x Lunges

12 x Elevated Front-kick (on pullup bar)

5 rounds, for time: 24:07

Shower, breakfast & check emails. Ridiculous how many emails pile up in a short period of time.

I spent most of the day behind this door in our conference room, planning our upcoming deployment. Lots and lots of thing to account and plan for.

This afternoon I drove up to North Fort to recon this facility on the left, we're hosting a Crossfit Level 1 Certification for the battalion next week. Can't wait, its going to be awesome.

After a final meeting up at Brigade, I'm smoked. Time to go home.

Outlaw is super excited I'm home. It doesn't matter how bad the day was, something about your dog tearing-ass through the house to see you when you get home just makes everything better.

Rae spent most of the day working hard on the yard. It looks awesome, best yard on the street. She's amazing, fixed us a great dinner after working hard all day. All I wanted to do was sit and drink a beer....thanks babe.

After dinner Rae and I took Outlaw for a walk around the neighborhood. Despite the dog crapping in the neighbor's yard, it was a great night, beautiful outside, and great to be with my girl on a night like that. We got home and I rolled around on the carpet with the dog for awhile, till we were both tuckered.

That is a pretty normal day! The American Dream, would you say? This is the stuff that motivates me when I'm gone...great great times. I'm truly blessed.

TBP...

2009-08-30T22:51:00.003-07:00

To be published....I think I'll try something tomorrow that I'll hopefully carry over to Iraq: A day in the life of Nate. I'll post some pictures and take folks through what to me is a regular Monday, but to them (you) may be illuminating as to what it is we do in a garrison environment. Probably more boring than you think...check back for the first "day in the life!"

The Mountain

2009-08-23T07:26:00.012-07:00

That was a fast week. The time will continue to fly by as deployment draws closer, but last week was especially quick because I had something to look forward to at the end. When LTC Lawrence took command of the battalion at the end of July, one of his first priorities was executing a team-building exercise with all the battalion leadership (over 100 people). So Friday we climbed Mt. Rainier. It was awesome. Here's the mountain ahead of us (from 7000 feet)... ...and the meadows below (we climbed through mist for the first 2000 feet or so).

We started from 5200 feet at Paradise Lodge and went to Camp Muir at 10,000 feet. Here's my boss, Jim VanAtta, and me with Mt. Adams in the background.

I'm on top of the world...

Pretty great stuff. That's part of what makes this job great I think...where else do you knock off work for a day and go climb a mountain?

Love this Town

2009-08-11T07:35:00.002-07:00

I love this town. I really do. We move a lot. Georgia to Washington this year. Kansas to Georgia the year before that. Iraq for 15 mos, and Georgia to KS the year before that. We don't put down roots, we don't learn the intricacies of a new city, we don't integrate. We're gypsies. But Cincinnati is home. The west side, east side, N. KY, Fairfield, its all familiar. I do not know but a couple exits on WA I-5, but I know I-75 like the back of my hand. I don't really care that the Reds suck and the Bengals are in jail, or that its as humid here as it was in Louisiana last month. I guess all I'm saying is that maybe it takes leaving what I've got to make me really appreciate it.

Rae and I are in Cincy for a couple more days, then back to the grindstone. My parents kicked this vacation off with a fantastic party at their place, really appreciate everybody that was able to make it. It was bizarre at times-I'd be talking to somebody I hadn't seen in years, then out of the corner of my eye I'd see somebody I hadn't seen in years and get completely distracted. Old friend overload is a fantastic problem to have. Thanks again.

Finally, in response to many questions I had at the party, yes I will be blogging again during this upcoming deployment. This tour will be much different than the last one for various reasons-different jobs, much different operational environment now, etc. Looking forward to keeping you posted.

Outlaw

2009-08-02T09:09:00.005-07:00

Its high time to introduce everybody to the newest Showman. Rae and I have been talking about getting a dog all summer; we'd been canvassing the local shelters and petfinder.com, and keeping our eye on craigslist, etc. I've come to the conclusion that adopting a dog is more difficult than adopting a human. We seriously had to fill out questions that reminded me of filling out my security clearance. Finally Rae came across a beautiful 4-month old Rottweiller pup at the shelter just down the street and fell in love immediately. We're pretty sure we've got the best dog ever...great temperment, smart (learned "sit" in one day!)...Outlaw has gained 9 lbs. in the two weeks we've owned him, I'm pretty excited to see how big he's going to get.

This guy is spoiled rotten...

Bullets

2009-06-28T16:12:00.003-07:00

It's pouring rain on Ft. Polk, LA. While I wait it out inside what for the last month was the 2-23 IN TOC, I'll listen to the sounds of the teardown crew packing it up, and post a bullet-point update. To begin:

No, I don't live in Louisiana now. Rae and I live in Olympia, WA-I work at Ft. Lewis and Rae is hunting for work. Meanwhile, she's transformed an overgrown yard into a garden, turned our house into a Martha Stewart look-alike, read for fun for the first time since before law school, and been a constant encouragement as I've started a difficult new job.
I'm currently the assistant operations officer in a Stryker battalion out of Ft Lewis, meaning I plan, write, and publish most of the training for the battalion. I should take company command sometime around the New Year...
...meaning that I'll take command while in Iraq. We will deploy at the end of the summer for 12 months. I don't think we expected another tour to come this soon, but that's reality and has been for the last six years. Hopefully we shut this thing down in Iraq this next year and call it good.
Family updates-Ben is in Iraq doing his first tour, and doing well by all accounts. Eric is in WA for the summer training and visiting. Pam is now the two-time Regional high jump champion, placing 7th in the state of Ohio this year.

That's all I have the time or attention span for right now. JRTC has smoked my ass, time to go rack out for a time period longer than five hours, and perhaps get a shower.

One Year

2009-03-29T19:47:00.002-07:00

One year to the day-remember the fallen. Durrell Bennett and PJ Miller, taken by an EFP on RTE Florida, Muallameen, New Baghdad, Iraq, March 29, 2008. Carl Reiher, Rob Winegar, and Pat Hanley-lives forever altered. Remember their sacrifices. The men of 3/A/2-16 IN who served during OIF 07-09 will never forget our brothers. Remember the Fallen.

Champ

2009-01-01T17:47:00.005-08:00

Happy New Year! Rae and I rang in 2009 with another day hike at the beautiful Franklin D. Roosevelt State Park. It was a beautiful day in Georgia, unlike what we're used to at this time in the Cincinnati area, so we took advantage of it. Rae is an absolute champ, continually overcoming old athletic injuries to perform feats like hour-long treadmill runs on top of an hour in the weight room. Yesterday it was turned ankles plus an upper leg pull sustained right at the beginning of the hike-of course she didn't tell me about it till we were four miles in. When I asked her if she wanted to take a shortcut she fixed me with a look that almost knocked me over. The look was followed by an emphatic "hell no!" as she kept on trucking up the trail. I had to haul ass to keep up with her the next half mile.

Had a great time in Cincy for Christmas, great to see everybody that we saw and sorry to those we couldn't catch up with. Congrats to Brent and Lauren on their engagement!

Tradition

2008-12-26T13:41:00.004-08:00

Justin, Ben and I got our semi-traditional Christmas ride in this morning-the conditions, however, were dramatically different this year. If we look frozen (love Ben's face) its because we rolled around in 40 degrees and raining for two hours. I for one needed it no matter what the conditions, was feeling pretty plump after the last couple days indulgence. Hopefully this all pays off this spring-Ben will have strong legs for Ranger School and I will have a good spring cycling season in Washington.

On earth, peace.

2008-12-24T10:49:00.003-08:00

8In the same region there were some shepherds staying out in the fields and keeping watch over their flock by night.

9And an angel of the Lord suddenly stood before them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them; and they were terribly frightened.

10But the angel said to them, "Do not be afraid; for behold, I bring you good news of great joy which will be for all the people;

11for today in the city of David there has been born for you a Savior, who is Christ the Lord.

12"This will be a sign for you: you will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger."

13And suddenly there appeared with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God and saying,
14"Glory to God in the highest,
And on earth peace among men with whom He is pleased."

Merry Christmas from Nate and Rae

Gift-ing

2008-12-16T12:09:00.008-08:00

*Note-This post has been edited from the original. I wrote it like I was talking to a group of Soldiers and I don't think it originally conveyed the message I wanted to get across.

For my thoughts in keeping with the spirit, I first cite Scott Deuber and his note on my post of 5 July, 2007-take a look at it and think about the subject of materialism and how it affects your life. I have no intent, desire or qualification to preach at anybody-however, people, however...I still have all these images in my head, so many images from 15 months. Some are good, some are bad, some are just bizarre, and some are recurring-like right now, right now I'm reminded continuously of the way that the people of Fedaliyah and Al-Amin, New Baghdad lived.
Bad picture, yes-it was taken out the window of a Humvee, sorry. That's a sewage trench at those kids' feet, by the way. That's their house on the left of the picture, the mud hut-picturesque isn't it? Remember the fact that this is the way a vast majority of the world lives. I say all that to suggest this: consider making your gift to each other a donation to one of the literally hundreds of legitimate organizations out there that exist solely to help and serve others. I like http://www.heifer.org/, http://www.younglife.org/, and http://www.fightforthetroops.com/. The last one is a pretty sweet team effort on the part of the UFC and the Intrepid Fallen Heroes foundation to build a Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI) center for research and recuperation. We are incredibly blessed just to live in this country. Merry Christmas everybody, and remember this season the reason we celebrate.

Party Time

2008-12-02T17:37:00.006-08:00

Yep...time to party down with old friends.

Presenting CPT & Mrs. Mike Williams

Mike and I graduated together from Xavier. It was a true honor to be in his wedding this past weekend, and to see all my boys from the ROTC days. I tell you that we got back together like it had been last week since we'd seen each other, instead of almost four years in some cases.

Hope everybody enjoyed Thanksgiving-Rae and I truly enjoyed our time back home, being with the family and stuffing ourselves on Mrs. Stephen's cooking. Ben Showtime dominated all of Cincinnati with a 20th place finish in the 11,000+ participant 10K race Thanksgiving morning-told you he was chomping at the bit to throw down a strong race. I probably shouldn't have run but it was great to cover the distance with my sister. Now I won't be running for awhile to stave off the stress reaction that I feel developing but its a perfect time to start training for the spring cycling season-always a silver lining there people! You just gotta want to find it.

Last-Band of the Month! In addition to the left panel of the blog, I've been stuck on Old Crow Medicine Show's newest, Tennessee Pusher. Listen to "Caroline" at http://www.myspace.com/oldcrowmedicineshow

The Brothers

2008-11-25T12:42:00.006-08:00

Unbelievable...understand that I had no real aspirations of throwing down anything earth shattering, but I still hoped to be competitive Thursday morning in the 99th Annual Thanksgiving Day 10k in Cincy-that is, until this morning when my buddy dropped a log on my foot. Nothing broken but definitely sore. List me as day to day on the roster, probably have to be a game time decision whether or not to go head to head with the likes of Ben Showmanator, who is probably in shape to go under 33 minutes...

Insha-allah. I want today to introduce you to a few of my favorite people ever. These are the stories you need to know about folks, the true warriors. My brothers in the picture above came to wish me and Rae Godspeed the night before Rae and I left Riley. They were all members of 3rd Platoon, A Co...from left to right (drumroll): Sean Mannix-my driver and RTO in Iraq. Sean is a radio expert extraordinaire, he worked magic on the net daily, while putting up with me in the passenger seat. Jeremy Lambert is an absolute stud, he carried on with a bum knee for 15 months, and at the same time was completely motivated on his own to become a monster in the weight room. Branden Campbell is another complete stud, nobody was more excited to go kick down doors than Cam, and he's another pt animal. Both Jeremy and Branden were in the gym constantly! I'm half-naked in the middle looking slightly dazed from packing all day...on the far right is my boy Kyle Jones, my MMA training partner, workout buddy, and comedic relief. Kyle consistently delivers crazy one liners that you never see coming. Between me and Kyle is Justin Cooper...Justin has the biggest shoulders of any man I've ever met. He was 3rd Platoon's medic in Iraq, and I'll suffice it to say that there's a good 3rd of the old platoon that owe limbs or life to Justin's incredible coolness and care while under fire. He's truly the smoothest person under pressure I've ever met-there's a reason he won two valorous awards during the deployment. These are the faces of the brave, people! Theirs are the truly amazing stories.

Thanksgiving!!

2008-11-24T07:41:00.004-08:00

Lots to give thanks for people! Rae and I are doing great down here in Georgia-lets just get that straight right off here. I didn't realize how morbid the blog had become till I looked back on it just now; although that was a pretty morbid time frame, it really didn't last long. Life has settled again for the most part, thanks to the patience of my incredible wife and the attentive ear of some good friends, and of course the grace of the good Lord. Here's what we've been doing in a quick nutshell: I go to school from 8:30 to 4:30 mon-fri and learn all the tactics and doctrine that I will need to be successful in my next job. Rae passed the Kentucky Bar in October and has been job hunting in Washington State, which is where we're headed next (March). Ben was here for awhile which was freakin awesome, first time in a few years that we've hung out consistently. We conducted outstanding PT on a regular basis and debated the merits of a good dark lager vs. a good porter. Now Rae and I are heading back to KY for Thanksgiving with both sets of folks, and the Showman clan will make a strong appearance at the Thanksgiving Day Race in Cincy. Here's some pics to complete the update:
Rae and I went for a great hike up at Pine Mountain State Park a couple weeks ago:

Ben and I did an 75 minute trail run the day after a hard rain and it was like ice in some places. Ben got the worst of it but he's a champ and in sick shape right now.

Enough Rope

2008-07-28T16:49:00.002-07:00

Recommend you watch the video on the right panel of the blog, you'll understand this post's title better...I'm shortening my own length of rope right now, 'cause I've damn near hung myself trying to reincorporate myself back into America. No more drinking 'till I set a lot firmer azimuth on what my limits are; I've decided I like walking places better than being carried. Probably won't stop me getting moody and mean some nights, but that's what we've got a heavy bag for.

FYI-just about time to move again. Rae and I leave Kansas for Ft. Benning, GA in just a couple weeks now. I've got schooling to take care of down there, and she's going to try to get a job for awhile till we figure out where we're going next. Given that she's the most highly educated person I've ever met I don't really figure that she'll have a problem. We'll be there through February at least, aren't we lucky too, getting out of Kansas for a Georgia winter.

Look, don't take all my ramblings recently here to heart too much-with the exception of a handful of days things are pretty good. I will say this-if you're somebody who's been where I've been and done what I've done, you need to get your support system in place and lean on them hard. I've got a couple people I trust who I talk to every now and then when I start getting a little wild again; I'm telling you it makes all the difference. You gotta shorten up that rope.

Memorial

2008-07-24T14:50:00.007-07:00

The memorial at Rusti, Durrell, then PJ.

Perspective

2008-07-24T06:23:00.001-07:00

This is funny....

Yesterday me and some buddies rode out 24 to RC McGraw's for bike night and the live music...I was getting pissed because the biker crowd seemed more interested in puffing their chests and looking hard than in hanging out and talking bikes, so I grabbed another guy that was in Iraq with me and we took off down the highway (riding is generally the best therapy I've found anyway). As I put the hammer down I realized that at that time a year ago, 23 July, 2007, me and my boys were playing run-and-gun with the Jaish al-Mahdi from fourth street in Al-Amin clear back to the COP (about five blocks), and at that time I had wanted nothing more than to be right where I was yesterday.

I'd go back but I can't get home
The river is up and the road is closed...
...and all the lights are out
Down on the rural route...

Sunday with Chris Knight

2008-07-13T09:43:00.005-07:00

There's a man down by the mission, says do you want to know the Lord?
Well yes I want to know him, but I don't believe he's here

Someday I'll go back to Kentucky
And breath that cool green river air
Someday I pray that I'll get lucky
And go back to God's country
That's my only prayer...

...I built a fire up on the hill
Sat in the woods and drank my fill
Talked to God all night
Took another shot at setting me right
Then I just walked away
Ain't nothin here I want to remember anyway
At least not today

I'd go back but I can't get home
The river is up and the road is closed...
...and all the lights are out
Down on the rural route...

...I'm thankful for the things I have, and all the things I don't
I've got dreams that will come true, and I've got some that won't
Most the time I just walk the line, wherever it goes
'Cause you can't hang yourself if you ain't got enough rope

Slaughterhouse Five

2008-07-10T08:29:00.003-07:00

"The nicest veterans in Schenectady, I thought, the kindest and funniest ones, the ones who hated war the most, were the ones who'd really fought." -Kurt Vonnegut

The fact that I read this classic by Kurt Vonnegut for the first time during a drive to perform a military funeral detail probably intensified my experience. Even if the author hadn't been clear in the beginning of the novel that he was a veteran himself of the Second World War, it would have been clear to me after only a couple of chapters. After reading the book I looked around the internet to see what other people thought...I saw anti-war, I saw discussions on thematic elements like free will, fate, and the illogical nature of human beings...blah blah blah...What I read was a lucid collection of the thoughts, memories, and demons that conflict in a combat veteran's head when they return from war. Vonnegut's experience at Dresden clearly was a life-changing event; I don't think that he would have been the writer that he was without the impetus and altered viewpoints and, hell, even the PTSD provided by his combat experience. I understand this...

By the way, thanks for the talk Tom. Talking is good therapy...really, I suppose, thanks to Rae for beating it through my head that I needed to talk, which is the only way I learn things anyway...

News Flash-Ben's Grad

2008-07-06T14:25:00.002-07:00

The brainy brother graduated from USMA at West Point about a month ago...now spending his summer riding for the Pennsylvania Lightning cycling team before starting his "army stuff" later this summer.

Homecoming

2008-07-06T11:27:00.002-07:00

At first I saw them daily.

I saw PJ at the gym. I saw Durrell in the parking lot. I saw Mike driving down the road...and I saw them all late at night, hours after my wife and I went to bed. Sometimes I didn't remember them when I woke up, often I did. Sometimes I saw them as they were, as I like to remember them, when they inspired me daily and spurred me to lead them as best I could. PJ's smile, Durrell's energy...then sometimes I saw them in the final moments, the ones I don't like to remember...

I'm sitting in my truck, finishing a radio transmission with Outlaw 6. Two Iraqi National Policemen walk in between my truck and the truck ahead of me. PJ is right there, putting an empty gas can away. As the NP pass him they offer him some sort of fruit, dates I think. He gives them a quizical look, a very PJ-like look, followed quickly by a "the-hell-with-it" expression. He takes the fruit, eats, shares a laugh with the NP, then climbs back in the truck.....the last time I saw him.

It all just takes time. I guess I've tried to cram a lot of it away somewhere up to this point; my wonderful wife keeps prodding me to write, but I really haven't wanted to. It was therapy in Iraq, so it stands to reason that it would serve the same purpose back home. The challenge will be getting in a habit of writing instead of pushing it all away somewhere...more to follow.

Fin

2008-04-19T10:05:00.002-07:00

15 April, 2008, 2200...set my foot on Forbes Field, Topeka, Kansas. 0130....reunited at Ft. Riley with Rae and Family. Its done.

Durrell Bennett and Patrick Miller

2008-04-05T03:09:00.003-07:00

One week ago today 3rd Platoon lost two brothers. The EFP that took Durrell and PJ's lives did so quickly; neither one suffered. The knowledge that their suffering is over is some consolation, but the fact that they were so close to being back home with their loved ones has irreparably and deeply cut us all. We loved them both, and it has been and will always be one of the greatest honors of my life to have served with, lead, and had as friends SPC Durrell Bennett and PFC PJ Miller. If either family of these American Heroes would like to contact me they can do so. For all the other readers of this blog, I lack the words to put in context the depth and breadth of the sacrifice these two made. I ask for your prayers for both families, and your continued respect and unwavering gratitude towards the fallen and their families.

Nate Showman
1LT(P), IN
3/A/2-16 IN

Apocalypse Now

2008-03-20T23:22:00.003-07:00

Almost done...as my number of days left over here gets towards the point of being able to count on fingers, I try to live in the moment as much as possible, trying not to watch the clock, but its impossible. I've squeezed all the life lessons and experiences out of this 15 months that I could, and now all that's left is a vague sense of unease and a growing restlessness, being intimately acquainted with every hazard that exists in this place, knowing that the threat doesn't go away just because our time is short...the best way to maintain my own sanity continues to be my men, focusing on making sure they get through this. All for now, time to gear up and roll back out...

Update...

2008-01-22T23:08:00.000-08:00

Well people, I guess I'm proved a liar..."no more long layoffs"...It has continued to be difficult to find time or the inspiration to write. As our time gets shorter the energy I used to use for my "creative expression" here on these pages has gone into ensuring that my men (and I) don't become complacent and remain focused during these next few months. We're all doing fine though, and thank you to all of you who continue to monitor these pages...your support and prayers continue to be precious to us all. Won't be long now...

Nate

Return

2007-11-15T22:06:00.000-08:00

On the 30th of September, 2007, I came home to the U.S. for the first time since my deployment as part of the spring "surge" effort. I had planned my mid-tour leave so that it would indeed fall right at mid-tour, and act therefore as the figurative peak in the hill of my extended Baghdad vacation. Through this summertime, I found myself counting down the months, and then the days, until I could let my mind and body check out. When the day finally arrived, I was ready for a break, beaten down and burnt out from seven months of expectation, preparation, and execution of combat operations. As I travelled the long miles back home, I didn't sleep much, living on excitement as my goal became more palpable. It took close to 48 hours to pass through all the gateways and check-points, but finally I found myself looking down over 30,000 feet of United States airspace.

I must make mention of the fact that this tour in Iraq marks my first departure from United States borders. Though I do have a strong desire to travel, I have not yet taken advantage of my ability as the citizen of a free state to travel abroad. When my friends in college were taking spring breaks or summer vacations to Europe, I was always too poor or busy; it finally took the Army to free me from my American moorings and set me on a course of world and cultural education and experience...if learning to detect IED's and dodging enemy ambushes can be described as such. Seriously though, this experience has been extremely valuable for the reasons I just facetiously described. The final chapter of this saga, which has yet to be written but which I now feel I have partially experienced, will be that of coming home at the end of this tour, and that may be the most important chapter of all, as I now think that that coming home may in fact define how I view this deployment, my education, and my role as an American Citizen.

When the wheels of that airplane touched down in Atlanta, I was unprepared for the flood of emotion that overcame me. It was really an epiphany moment, walking off that ramp from the plane to the terminal, as the people and events of the past seven months combined in my consciousness with my sudden short return to the life I had cultivated back in the place I called home. It was a system shock, walking off a DC-10 full of Soldiers and into a civilian airport, surrounded by businessmen on cell phones and laptops, families taking end of summer vacations, people from all walks of life, creeds, and callings, but, by and large, American citizens all. I was suddenly back among people who understood things that were familiar and precious to me, who spoke the same language as me, who (at least if you believe the public polls) were supportive of my line of work, and at the very least wanted to see me and my kind come home safely. I found it really all I could do to put one foot in front of the other and move to the gate for my connecting flight home. I made no eye contact with the people I passed, because when eye contact is made between strangers there is the briefest exchange of unspoken information, and I knew that I really couldn't control what my eyes were saying, and furthermore the emotion I felt was nothing I wanted to share with strangers anyway. These people knew nothing of what I had seen and done over the past months...so I moved hastily towards my connection flight, feeling like a lone sheepdog among a flock of sheep, or as one who has awakened from dream, believing with all certainty that the dream was reality. The only ones who believed the dream awaited me in Cincinnati.

Now that time has created separation between me and my homecoming, I have been able to realize and process some of the ramifications and the lessons that I will forever bear with me. I have a greater appreciation for the role of the United States as the leader of the free world, and for the relationships that we must create and nourish among as many countries as possible. I feel a greater appreciation, curiosity, and respect for the many cultures I have encountered. Most of all, I hold a heightened sense of gratitude and obligation towards the country of my origin, being more cognizant of the great blessing of simply being born where I was and therefore more aware of the daily advantages that I continuously take for granted; simultaneously feeling an increased sense of social obligation derived from the fact of being so richly blessed. Now, it is not just enough to understand and process these realizations; their authenticity will be shown in the life I lead, even now as well as upon my return to "normal" life. We're on the backside of the peak my friends, it won't be long now...

I Do

2007-10-31T04:35:00.000-07:00

Well folks...hehe, I don't suppose life could have changed much for the better between my last post and this one than it has. As Scott informed everybody, I set my feet back on US soil on September 30th for the first time since last February. It was finally my turn to take mid-tour leave, and it was more welcome than I could possibly express. I really experienced too many emotions, thoughts, and feelings during my 18 days home than I can express in this post; indeed I could probably post from now till Christmas about everything that happened while I was home and still not cover it all. The big one that I'll hit y'all with first is that I married the love of my life the day before I came back to Iraq. Rachel and I have been together for two and a half years, at this point, and there was no reason at all for me to wait to hit one knee. I proposed on Sunday the 14th of October at Palomino's Restaurant right downtown there on Fountain Square. She said yes, much to my relief; later on we were talking about when we'd actually tie the knot, and one of us ( I don't exectly remember which one said it first) said, "how about right now?" So believe it or not (because I'm not sure if its quite sunk in for us yet), three days later, on Wednesday, we got married with a little ceremony in her parent's back yard. We're both extremely happy, and confident that it was the right decision for us in our unique situation. There will be more posts coming in the near future, no more layoffs like last time, but thanks to everybody I got to see while I was home-if I didn't get to see you I'm sorry, but keep the beer cold and I'll be home soon. Thanks again for all of your support. Outlaw 36 out.

An Unofficial Nate Update

2007-10-04T13:45:00.000-07:00

Greetings, readers, this is Scott. Since it's been over 2 months since an official Nate Update from the man himself, I figure at least some sort of correspondence is in order, for you, loyal readers.

I am thrilled to report that Nate is doing very well. He very much appreciates your comments of encouragement. "Overwhelming" was the word, I believe, he used to describe the support he has received from home. So... thanks for reading and commenting and thinking of Nate and his fellow soldiers, and we'll all look forward to a "real" Nate Update sometime soon!

20 More Cass...

2007-07-29T03:27:00.000-07:00

The room houses three soldiers, each occupying a corner of the fake wood-floored, aluminum-walled, thin-ceiling apartment in the bottom corner of the two story structure. Inside its completely dark, although dawn has just begun to break outside. At 0530 my wristwatch alarm drags me persistently out of the deep sleep I was enjoying; I groan and force my feet over the edge of the bed. Though its already over 90 degrees outside, the A/C has kept the room pleasant for sleeping all night, and my blanket was comfortable…but I can’t go back to that, because my platoon will be waking up soon, and I prefer to be awake and moving before them. I ritualistically fill the filter and pour the water into the coffee-maker, simultaneously cursing the stupid Folgers advertising jingle that’s stuck in my head, yet acknowledging that the best part of waking up really is the coffee in my cup…I wonder aloud if the Army will send me home for temporary insanity…hmm…I may be on to something.

While dressing I ponder again the plan that my squad leaders, platoon sergeant, and I laid out together last night. We leave FOB Rustamiyah a little earlier than normal this morning, task being to try to corral a member of the IED cell that has wreaked havoc within the task force this entire last month. I’m not entirely comfortable with the plan, since it calls for us making the hit during hours of daylight, when we are more susceptible to ambushes. There’s really no choice though, since the intelligence we have puts him at a certain place this morning, and everybody in the task force is eager to put the clamps on these guys, so we’re rolling come hell or high water (chance of the latter being zilch in Baghdad, early July). I go grab chow (the DFAC biscuits and gravy are really good) and run up to the TOC to get the intel dump from the previous couple of days. Insurgent activity has spiked this last month at a rate of almost 300 percent, so this morning’s brief is going to take longer than usual. I joke around with Ryan M., one of the battalion intel officers, about going on leave in a few days even though he hasn’t been off the FOB since we’ve been here. He’ll be missed while he’s gone though, since he gives the most detailed pre-brief in my opinion. There’s a certain amount of peace of mind in knowing where the bad guy has been recently, even though there’s no certainty he’ll be there today.

When I get back to the “Outlaw” CP, the platoon is almost ready to roll. SFC D., my PSG, has everybody on the trucks getting them ready. The platoon leadership pulls together one more time and we go over the info I gathered up at the TOC. We agree that the plan we laid out last night will still give us the best chance of success, though I still don’t have a warm and fuzzy. Since no-one has any questions, we pile in the trucks and start heading for the gate. My gunner, “R.J.”, chatters incessantly from the hatch above and behind me, alternating from slinging insults at the “Fobbits” manning the gate to a running commentary directed at the Iraqi populace on the road concerning his prowess behind his gun and the dire consequences of getting in our way on the road. He’s a great entertainer and better gunner. We travel uneventfully.

The raid goes off smoothly. If you’d like specifics, feel free to stop by your local recruiter, and when you arrive as the newest member of 3rd Platoon we’ll teach you how to git-‘er-done. Suffice it to say that we get our boy, and the streets should be a little safer. Unfortunately, his friends aren’t too pleased, and we haven’t been in the target house but ten minutes when I hear the familiar “whoosh” of an RPG being fired at one of my trucks. It is answered immediately by the deep staccato rhythm of an M-240 on one of the trucks suppressing the area from which the RPG was fired from. I decide that we’ve worn out our welcome in the area and call for exfil. We bundle up our detainee, put him in a seat of the truck, and begin moving out, hearts pounding, scanning intently for the next threat to pop up. It doesn’t take long. We make it one block before small arms fire again erupts, little puffs of dust kicking up all around us as bullets whine through the air. Since our mission is to deliver our detainee for tactical questioning and prosecution, we don’t have the latitude that we’d normally have of closing with and destroying these bastards. We suppress the areas from which we are taking fire, the machine guns littering the streets with spent brass, each Soldier moving from covered position to covered position as his buddy lays down suppressive fire. This exhaustive pattern continues on and off for the next 15 minutes as we make our way towards our combat outpost. We finally turn the corner towards the COP, moving quickly, mentally aware of our fatigue, but physically unable to feel it on account of the adrenaline coursing through each man’s veins. As the last truck turns the corner towards the COP, one of my squad leaders detects an ominous sound from far away-the distinctive “phoom” “phoom” of mortar rounds being dropped in the tube. My heart races; insurgent groups have successfully zeroed their tubes on our COP in the last few days, and they’ve now chosen a terrible time to drop their little presents on us again. My Soldiers are exposed and we still have too far to go before we reach the safety of the COP. I barely have time to shout the warning to take cover before two mortar rounds slam into the intersection we vacated only seconds before. The concussion knocks several Soldiers on their ass and temporarily deafens the rest of us. SFC D quickly determines that everybody is still able to move under their own power, and we haul tail through the front gate of the COP.

Amazingly, nobody will carry any permanent physical scars from this morning with them, although most of us will jump about two feet in the air the rest of the day when someone slams the refrigerator door. The rest of the day will involve debriefs, naps, and planning for future operations. The best way to work off the effects of a day like this is to either pass out, or stay busy enough that you don’t have to think about it. So now I’m going to go sleep as long as possible. So long…

Introspection

2007-07-05T07:02:00.000-07:00

5 July, 2007: Though my intent was to symbolically write and post on our Nation’s birthday, the fireworks presentation proffered by the enemy precluded my own desires yesterday. How ironic…

David Finkel, the Washington Post writer, has returned from his hiatus for another extended stay with the Soldiers of 2-16 IN. His mission, as I understand it, is to write a book which he intends as a journey of sorts, describing the physical, philosophical, spiritual, and ideological changes we all will and are inevitably undergoing during this tour in Iraq. I don’t know what part, if any, I will have in his manuscript; nevertheless thinking about his work prompts me to take an introspective look at myself and these last five months. Hopefully I can help you, whoever you are, understand us a little bit better.

This war is not Vietnam. It is not World War II, or Korea, or the Gulf War, or any of the other conflicts that it is inevitably compared to in the journalistic pages back home. We will, I trust, not receive the same rancorous return that awaited my Uncle’s generation upon his return from the Orient. Though this conflict has been enormously expensive, the human losses have not yet climbed close to what they amounted to in the Seventies. At the same time, each loss is as keenly felt as ever. We are not The Greatest Generation, as Tom Brokaw has dubbed my grandfather and his peers. The numbers who have served in this war do not yet approach those of 1941-45, and yet they are of enough significance that I think they will in some way have great influence in history. The veterans of this conflict will hold their own unique legacy, whatever it may be. When we return, we will attempt to fit back into a world nearly as fast paced as the one we currently inhabit, back into commercial America, the world of malls, fashions, parties and stock markets; back into the world of unlimited prosperity. We will attempt to go back to church, wondering if the preacher in the pulpit talking about poverty in some far country has ever smelled the stench of human feces in open trenches, or seen the look of hopelessness in the eyes of black-clad women walking war-rubbled streets; we’ll wonder if the successful out-of-shape suburbanite, sitting next to us in Bible study and thanking God for His mercy, has ever had indelibly imprinted in his senses the smell of his friend’s burnt flesh, the one that didn’t make it out of the Humvee in time, or stood next to the corpse in which resides a 5.56 round that only moments before was in the chamber of his weapon. We will invariably react defensively at first to loud noises, as we do now. We will find it difficult to vote; politicians make many promises, and break nearly as many. Politicians, civilian or military, have at heart the next election primarily, or their place in history, or the next promotion. We will outwardly say “you’re welcome” and smile when you say thank you for serving, while we inwardly recite the names of Cajimat, Craig, Crowe, Payne, and Gajdos, and wonder why they really had to die, and if Iraq will remember their names.

The bottom line is that my platoon and I have surpassed 120 days in Iraq; we have been blown up and shot at so much that it is almost expected; we have returned fire and arrested the IED emplacers. We have seen everything the insurgency has to offer and have returned the same. When I first began writing, I was not sure I would even have the chance to earn the CIB; now that that fact has been assured many times over, none of the medals or badges or acclaim matters. When war was merely a fantasy of prose and film, I was philosophical and idealistic; it is now a sensation of sight, smell, and touch, and the idealism and philosophy has been replaced by cold facts, and they are these: (1) Republicans and Democrats can go to hell. (2) Concern for the welfare of innocent Iraqis is increasingly frustrated by our perception that they will risk very little to secure their own future. (3) The warrior’s axiom that “you fight for the man next to you” should be biblical, for no words ever rung truer. If I lose not one more man to this war during the duration of our duty, that will be an acceptable outcome; I will take all steps in my power to secure this end.

PL

2007-06-13T20:30:00.000-07:00

Ok I'm back, with a new post finally. I feel compelled to throw something up just to let everyone know I'm still breathing unassisted. Since late April there's been big changes all around this place. Most recent and dramatic has been the fact that we get engaged damn near every time we set foot outside the wire. The militia have become extremely aggressive in the last two weeks, so much so that A Co., 2-16 was involved in a firefight lasting over two hours just a few nights ago. Speaking of which, I've switched jobs, taking over 3rd Platoon, A Co. Its a good switch for a lot of reasons, primarily the fact that I'm much more involved in this fight now than I have been for the last few months. My new platoon is solid and I'm enjoying working with them already. We work out of Combat Outpost Cajimat, so named for the first soldier to fall from 2-16, who was also from this company. Since his death we have lost two more, both recently. We find ourselves fighting primarily native Iraqis involved in the militias, who are trying to gain political control of this country.

Take care all, I'll post again when I can. Thanks for your continued support.

Reality Check

2007-04-28T03:45:00.000-07:00

Hey ya'll....how's it going. I'm sitting inside one of Saddam's palaces, inside the Green Zone waiting for my chopper back to Rusty. The last 24 hours have been a real adventure:

I set this trip up a couple days ago, preparing for my upcoming duties as XO by fulfilling a class requirement only taught here in the Green Zone. I flew out of Rusty yesterday with minimal information, after a windy and rainy day gave way to a humid but sunny evening. After a night-time tour of Baghdad at 300 feet, I landed not really knowing where I needed to go or who I needed to contact. I ended up finding my class after hooking up with a couple other LT's who were here for the same thing, but that's not the real story. Let me tell you about Iraq as seen from the Green Zone....

This place is what Iraq should aspire to be. When I got off the bird last night it felt like I had flown to another country. Palms towered over me all over the place. A garden right outside the palace I'm sitting in stretched out hazy and humid after the storm yesterday. The palace towered high, its entrance lit up in gold reflected light from the bronzed and marbled doorway. Quite frankly, I was so taken aback after just a couple steps inside that I turned myself straight around and marched back to flight ops, convinced that the dude at the desk had given me incorrect directions. But sure enough, this was where I was supposed to be. I still feel completely out of place; this infantryman has been happy enough just to be out of the mud and sand for the last three months. The folks assigned here though live like this. And it honestly makes me wonder, are they really in touch with what's going on outside this place? I really feel like there's no war going on right now. I'm listening to the coffee shop attendant across the way from me whip up some full-bird's latte, as the speakers pump out some mellow jamaican beat. I'm not going to allow myself the luxury of drawing conclusions publicly, but I am taken aback by how different this world is than that my men and I live in at Rusty.

I am interested to hear your reactions to Dave Finkel's article, taken in context of the rather rancorous post I wrote a couple weeks back. Be advised of the clear distinction in every soldier's consciousness of the difference between the vermin that are responsible for "Bob", and the old man and his family that lived right outside the spaghetti factory. For them and their future (and therefore indirectly our own) do we continue to strive.

Bob

2007-04-27T03:32:00.000-07:00

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/04/24/AR2007042402595.html

(Updated 28 April, MSNBC sucks and took the article down already.)

Here's the newest article written by Dave Finkel about my battalion. I've spent a little bit of time with him, he's a very personable guy with an ability to write the words that make life over here come alive to y'all back home.

More news....

-I'm going to be switching jobs here soon....going to take the XO position over in A Co.......I have mixed feelings regarding the switch. My responsibilities will be much different, dealing with logistics, contracts, supply issues, and a lot more paperwork. I won't have as much time dealing directly with soldiers, which is the best part about being a PL....

-Ya'll have heard by now we've been extended an extra three months I suppose, now looking to be back around May 2008.

More to follow....

Bullet Points

2007-04-08T00:36:00.000-07:00

Update:
-Everyone in my platoon is doing ok.
-Remember in your prayers and considerations the family of PFC Cajimat, who was lost to IED several days ago. The rest of the crew in the truck will be ok after various degrees of recuperation.
-April is an historically violent month, and it has remained true to history thus far. We maintain our guard and vigilance, and are prepared to deal with any uprisings. More to follow....

Oderint Dum Metuat

2007-03-30T07:16:00.000-07:00

1st- The kids are ridiculous...completely without fear. They mob us whenever we dismount, asking for everything from my wristwatch to my camera. Sometimes we hand out candy, but that only draws dozens more.

2nd- A mosque dominates the skyline in the Muallameen Mujhallah.

3rd- This dude wanted to arm wrestle me.....I let him win for a little while.

Finally got a rest day. We’ve been moving pretty quick, but the result at this point is that we feel like we’ve got pretty good control of our zones. This, which at one point was one of the most violent areas of Baghdad, has acted like a normal city recently- no big explosions, not much violence, people carrying on their daily lives as they should. Insha’ allah, it will continue until the Iraqi Security Forces can take over these operations completely from us- that’s the point at which we can and should come home. The greatest shortage and the thing which will take the most time to build is leadership- these people are so used to having a strong iron-fisted central leader (read: dictator) that even six years later there is a leadership vacuum. Often the leadership that is in place has not the cajones to instill the discipline in their soldiers or staff to render them effective. Others are mere puppets, set in place by the militias or radical groups who use them for their own ends. The process of weeding out the ineffective corrupt leaders, then training and replacing them with ones who truly care about their people and will be held accountable is a time-consuming process. That right there is the most difficult task; the history of these people is not one that has been conducive to democracy. Most middle-eastern countries have been ruled by kings (dictatorships, really) since biblical times. That’s a lot of history to overcome.

Enough politics for now- ya’ll keep asking me how I’m doing and how life is; well, I’ll tell ya it ain’t bad. The duration of this thing (did you know we’re in OIF V now?) means that we have companies like KBR that take care of all the logistics on the FOB: trash, fresh water, food, showers, etc. There are stores and shops here who offer their services for a price, like the Green Beans Coffee Shops that are set up on most FOBs (their stuff I swear goes way over the legal caffeine limit, it’s awesome). Those that have been over here a few times say that our level of internet access and availability of phones is unprecedented. It can turn around to bite us though…..OPSEC becomes increasingly harder to control with this level of access to public forums. I am continually pondering whether or not what I post on this blog is something I want some radical jackass to read. He can read this though: come to Iraq and my boys and I will ensure that until your body completely disintegrates you do nothing but push up daisies. Ask your buddy that shot rockets at us the other day, maybe he’ll holler up at you from six feet down out of the 7.62-shaped holes in his chest. For those of you who love freedom, though, thank you for your support, God Bless you, and I’ll talk to you again soon.

“Oderint Dum Metuat”
”Let them hate, provided they fear”

Blackhawk

2007-03-21T07:18:00.000-07:00

17 March 2007

(Hey ya'll, I know its awhile since my last post; this was written a few days back, but I haven't yet had a chance to post it. Things get crazy around here and it may be a few weeks between posts sometimes, but thanks for checking back when you can.)

Have you ever watched a helicopter perform a facing movement, as in marching?

I have.

A couple nights ago I watched a pair of UH-60 Blackhawks lift off from the Rustamiyah helipad bearing the bodies of four more of America’s Sons. They were returning home, though never again to enjoy its comforts. In life they were part of another unit that we share space with on this FOB. Their lives had been claimed just earlier that day, when an IED exploded near their vehicle. We all gathered that night to pay tribute to their sacrifice as the helicopters waited nearby, their rotors whirling quietly. Four times, as one, our formation presented arms as their bodies were carried past us. As the whine of the helicopters engines increased, we once again saluted, and held it as the birds prepared to lift off. As if they were controlled by a puppeteer, both choppers became airborne in the same instant and hovered motionless a few feet off the ground, as the comrades of the fallen bid one last farewell. Moving again as one both birds executed a left face and disappeared into the black of the night.

I don’t know what this year will hold politically for the U.S….what the politicians in their polished offices and glassy skyscrapers will decide to do with this problem called Iraq. We are holding a snake by the tail here; as it wriggles and writhes we attempt to keep it from escaping while simultaneously attempting not to get bitten. Continuing to hold the snake gets costlier every time it bites, and the black birds carry home more bodies. Yet if we let it go it will breed, and its offspring will be stronger and more lethal than it, and will hunt us. These questions are debated by those echelons above me and my men; down here in the trenches, its as simple as it can be-capture or kill them before they can blow us up.

Pictures will be forthcoming......

Fast and Furious

2007-03-12T02:34:00.000-07:00

Just a very quick word to let everyone know all is well here. In sha'allah (Arabic for God willing) I'll post something longer with pictures in a day or two, but I just haven't had the time. Our operations have kicked off fully now (I spent eight hours outside the wire yesterday) and things to this point have been quiet. Take care everybody, talk to you soon.

Nate

Washington Post Article

2007-02-28T18:30:00.000-08:00

Hey ya'll, I've decided to take down the whole Washington Post article about us and just leave the link, since the article is long and kind of impedes reading the rest of the blog. If you haven't read it yet though I encourage you to, since the author David Finkel won the Pulitzer for wartime reporting last year and intends to write a book about our Battalion.

Baghdad

2007-02-24T00:39:00.000-08:00

1st impressions of the neighborhood around the FOB:

1. More trees than I anticipated. The FOB/ immediate area reminds me of inner city Cincinnati but worse-nice architecture at one time but completely run down and broken. It being the rainy season right now things are fairly green.

2. Trash. If you've never been to a third world country you have no concept of the trash/ sewage issue. The FOB is bordered on the west by a dump, which people live right next to and walk through every day. Kids play in it, adults root through it for something to sell/ eat. It catches fire regularly.

3. Stench. Permeates everything when the wind is right. Feces mixed with trash. And this isn't even a bad area....

4. Living conditions are really pretty comfortable. We share rooms but have our own little chunk of space. Food is good. Concrete is the dominant feature of the landscape.

Back to work.....

Nate

Pictures

2007-02-18T10:41:00.000-08:00

A picture says a thousand words, so check out this photo album of my life over the last two months.... starting with a shot of the kuwaiti desert at sunset.

Some of my guys trying to pet the camels.....I wanted to ride one. (No I didn't).

My girlfriend Rachel and me at the Infantry Ball right before I left. I can't imagine being supported any better than she has, and I'm looking forward to getting back home to her. Thanks baby.

With the fam right before getting on the bus to manifest...they were great, thanks guys.

My PSG hamming it up for the camera.

That should do it for now, oughta tide ya'll over. I'll talk atcha soon.

Nate

Ready, Set....

2007-02-17T09:09:00.000-08:00

Just got back in from several days out training in the Kuwaiti desert. The resources available here are tremendous, and we have been able to conduct very realistic relevant training, further bolstering the morale of my men (and mine as well). We have trained for and reacted to many scenarios one could encounter on a standard patrol in the sector we will be operating in. It won't be long now....

As I spend more time in this country I have been able to learn many things about this culture that surrounds us. Kuwait is extremely westernized as far as Middle-Eastern countries go. Kuwait City is the cultural and political epicenter of the Kuwaiti nation-state, and although I haven't had the chance to visit, judging from photos I've seen it would be difficult to distinguish it from any average European city. I, however, am surrounded by sand, Bedouins, and camels, rural Kuwait if you will. The camel herds here are as prevalent as cows in Northern Ohio, and are given the greatest respect by all. A purebred white camel can auction for as much as $50,000, and given that the rule of seven (kill/destroy/steal property, pay for it seven times over) still applies and is strictly enforced on Americans, it is easy to understand the care that is taken. I had to halt a rifle range I was running the other day while a camel herd wandered across 1000 meters downrange......

American soldiers are in Kuwait by the good graces of the Kuwaiti government. We use their country as a staging point for movement into Iraq and Afghanistan, and they use us to bolster their already bursting economy as well as provide outstanding resources for their military. Given that this is their country, they have the right to occupy any piece of training ground they wish at any time, even if we got there first. Another interesting fact to keep in mind is that Kuwait is only about 51% native Kuwaiti. The rest are immigrants from every country imaginable, and provide almost the entire workforce for the country.

I am doing fine. I'll post some photos when possible, but the internet connection is too slow here to allow for it. I'll try to post again soon.

Nate

Power

2007-02-06T03:22:00.000-08:00

Can someone explain to me what genius decided that Europe's electrical circuitry would be set at 220 volts and the U.S. at 110? I am up to my elbows in electrical converters and adapters....

Kuwait

2007-02-06T03:08:00.000-08:00

I'm in Kuwait. First impressions: the climate is extremely mild and comfortable right now, about 65 F during the day, 40 at night, no humidity, and the air is very clear, except for dust. We moved during the nighttime and I slept, so I didn't see much of the country, but the area we are in now is all sand as far as the eye can see (and camels). We sleep in large white climate-controlled metal-frame tents, with cots lining both sides. The first battle to overcome is the jet lag: its 2:15 pm right now, but feels like 6:15 back home. I wish there was more I could tell you; OPSEC (operational security) will take precedence over the rest of my posts, so they may become somewhat retroactive, meaning I may have to talk about our time here in a couple weeks. Other than being tired, I'm well, the food's good, the computer access is not too bad (about a 10 minute walk from my tent) and everything is going as planned.

Sing

2007-01-31T19:07:00.000-08:00

Where the road is dark
And the seed is sowed
Where the gun is cocked
As the bullet’s cold
Where the miles are marked
In the blood and the gold
I’ll meet you further on up the road

Now I’ve been out in the desert
Just doin’ my time
Searching through the dusk
Looking for a sign
If there’s a light up ahead
Well brother I don’t know
But I’ve got this fever burning in my soul

Being the country music philosopher that I am, I thought these words penned by Bruce Springsteen appropriate for the situation….to hear the complete mastery of the song as it should be sung, take a listen to the Man in Black’s last collection of recordings- American V: A Hundred Highways.

State of Deployment

2007-01-30T21:54:00.000-08:00

30 January 2007

I fly Sunday. These last days have been filled with lawyers, doctors, chaplains, and everyone else you can imagine offering a service to deploying Soldiers. We still train occasionally, when possible, getting that last little bit of preparation in. Mostly we make arrangements to put our lives in the U.S. on hold until further notice.

It’s a unique feeling, conducting business knowing that next week everything will be done differently; the daily existence that has become rote and ingrained over 24 years will be so altered as to be nothing resembling life back home. Just as every action, thought, and movement while deployed has the potential to alter lives, so every familiar sight, sound, and familiar smell at home takes on an abnormal significance in these last couple weeks. Cognizance of their fleeting nature makes normally insignificant moments into indelible memories almost instantaneously as they occur. I am much more conscious of small freedoms and pleasures that I normally take for granted, such as driving my truck, sleeping soundly secure from weather or human threat, or even walking wherever I should please without being encased in body armor. “Hell and destruction are never full; so the eyes of man are never satisfied”, but its curious how satisfied with life one can be when it’s all about to be turned upside down.

One last thought. Tonight I finally got a chance to read the text of the President’s State of the Union Address. Perhaps later I will comment on the speech as a whole….but one line stuck out to me as I read. “Each of us is guided by our own convictions – and to these we must stay faithful. Yet we are all held to the same standards, and called to serve the same good purposes… to keep faith with those we have sent forth to defend us.” You, civilians, ladies and gentlemen, citizens of the United States, must now keep the faith for us here at home. Information technology is now a weapon of warfare on an unparalleled scale. The enemy will perpetrate dramatic violent acts in order to cause you to lose hope and grow weary. Let us finish the fight. This counter-insurgency is the hardest military struggle any civilized army can contest. Men much smarter than I have taken the lessons of history, applied them to this situation, and are devising effective strategy to break the insurgency. The enemy is smart, and knows you are his greatest weapon. Keep the faith.

Nate

Packing

2007-01-17T21:13:00.000-08:00

While listening to John Prine....

If I wasn’t in my shoes, I doubt I’d really be able to conjure up the scene, but I’ll see if I can’t paint the picture for you. Ya’ll sometimes ask me, “what’s your average day like?” That’s funny, because I don’t really remember the last time I had an average day at work. Each brings something a little different, a little fresh, a new frustration, a small triumph…

December was a frenzied blur. As I say that, its worth noting that we only spent two weeks of that month working; that’s the December to which I’m referring. We found out just a little before Thanksgiving that we would deploy in early February. Given that we planned block leave (vacation) for the last two weeks of December and first week of January, I figured to pretty much live in the office from Turkey Day to Christmastime. I was right.

Imagine that you work for a large corporation, say five thousand employees or so, and you’ve walked into a good lower management position right out of college. Now you’re six months in, your feet are wet, you’ve figured out the difference between the door to the bathroom and the boss’ office, and folks you manage seem to tolerate you pretty well. Now drops on your desk a company wide directive: We’re packing up and moving the entire operation to a foreign country. They say business is good there, much better than here, more action, a better market for our services. And by the way, let’s do it in two weeks.

So we did. Took 17 hour days sometimes, but we got it done. Packed up 85% of everything owned by our corporation, left some unpacked so we could continue bare-bones operations, and sent it on its way. I oversaw about 200 folks packing up, as part of a duty called UMO (Unit Movement Officer). I know more about international shipping law than I ever wanted to in my life….my job wasn’t the hardest though; I entertained myself from time to time by stopping by and watching the Hazmat Officer lose his mind. Someone’s always worse off than you. I learned that no matter how frustrated you are you can always find something to laugh at, that there’s nothing more satisfying than counting on people and having them come through for you, and that it is possible for me to personally sleep for over 15 hours at a stretch. Then I got to go home for awhile and forget about it. Thanks to everyone who made block leave memorable. Here’s the official photo of the fam. from Christmas Eve.

Arlington

2007-01-15T19:55:00.000-08:00

Short thought for the evening.....I live my life in a state of controlled frenzy, the stresses of my job and desire for recuperation from them controlling the majority of my time. Tonight I was forced to pause and give solemn consideration to my personal motivations for wearing this uniform. I try not to attach the tag of "sacred" to many things.....I think its easy for people to think too highly of themselves or their cause.....but there are a few that, for the good of humanity, must always be regarded as holy. The National Cemetery at Arlington is one of those places. The American Heritage Dictionary cites the word holy as "Regarded with or worthy of worship or veneration; revered".

I heard tonight about a buddy of mine from school who helped carry the body of a soldier in his battalion off the battlefield; another had made the ultimate sacrifice. If nothing else, let us continue to hold their sacrifice holy, and honor them from time to time, remaining cognizant of the price of freedom as we daily reap the benefits of living in this country. As Abraham Lincoln stated in the Gettysburg Address, when speaking on a similar plot of hallowed ground, "It is altogether fitting and proper that we should do this."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ux-R6AKIHzE&NR

NS

Why you're here....

2007-01-07T19:55:00.000-08:00

Now that we've launched my occasional emails in a blog format, I suppose it'd be polite to make an introduction to those of you who just stumbled on this page....I'm a US Soldier currently assigned to the 1st Infantry Division. I'll shortly be deployed overseas, and given that I don't think many folks are getting a straight story on how things are going "over there", as well as my desire to keep a journal of sorts, I'll be keeping in touch from now on via this medium. Talk to you soon!

Thanksgiving

2006-11-21T20:07:00.000-08:00

Happy Thanksgiving, everybody. I hope that this holiday season does indeed find you in good health and spirits, as 2006 gives us its final month.
I have attached a few photos of my platoon... for those of you not familiar with the military, I hope myself to be a human face on the images and stories of the military machine that your televisions and computers animate to you every day. These are the boys-become-men that I lead... they are your sons, brothers, and friends, and daily I remain in awe of the responsibility and priviledge I bear, not just to them, but to you. The third stanza of the US Army Ranger Creed says "Never shall I fail my comrades. I will always keep myself mentally alert, physically strong, and morally straight, and I will shoulder more than my share of the task, one-hundred percent and then some." I am fully convinced that the important question in life is not how long one lives, but how one lives.

Let us celebrate the many blessings afforded us by this nation on Thanksgiving; and sometime during your banquet, I wonder if you would do as I do, and pause briefly to consider and give a word of silent thanks to those who cannot be with their loved ones at this time, for they stand in places decent folks dare not go, allowing us to sleep securely in our turkey-and-stuffing induced stupors.

God Bless you and yours, and I'll see you soon.

Let Justice Not Fail.
Nate